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[Radio: (A) chat] Crash Man transmits, "If you see a repliforcer... you run at them real fast, screaming real loud, then sit on them."
[Radio: (A) chat] Hard Man transmits, "Crash, bro, you forget that I move at a maximum high speed of a whopping 8.5 mph."
[Radio: (A) chat] Crash Man transmits, "Yeah, but your ass is freaking huge."
[Radio: (A) chat] Crash Man transmits, "I mean, c'mon. Let's put it to the acid test."
[Radio: (A) chat] Hard Man transmits, "I'm only 8 feet tall and 4 feet wide, dude."

[Radio: (G) Global] Crash Man transmits, "Who here would /not/ be afraid of Hard Man's ass flying at them?"
[Radio: (G) Global] Crash Man transmits, "Be honest, this is for posterity."
[Radio: (G) Global] Elpizo transmits, "Hard Man."
[Radio: (G) Global] Hard Man transmits, "I am 8 foot tall, 4 foot wide and weigh 3 tons."
[Radio: (G) Global] Crash Man transmits, "Okay, that's one."
[Radio: (G) Global] Guardian Templar Fefnir transmits, "I don't like anyones' asses flying at me."
[Radio: (G) Global] Boomer Kuwanger transmits, "How big is Hard Man's ass, would you say?"
[Radio: (G) Global] Boomer Kuwanger transmits, "Don't lie or anything just because he's on the radio, I'm sure he can take it."
[Radio: (G) Global] Crash Man transmits, "It's huge, man."
[Radio: (G) Global] Boomer Kuwanger transmits, "I'll need a number."
[Radio: (G) Global] Crash Man transmits, "Huge like... X-Box."
[Radio: (G) Global] Hard Man transmits, "Umm, since it takes up about 1/4th my midsection, I'd say 1 foot by 4 foot."
[Radio: (G) Global] Linnea Blossom transmits, "He just said he weighs three goddamn tons, he can take anything we say about his ass."
[Radio: (G) Global] Boomer Kuwanger transmits, "One foot by four fo- Your ass is a rectangle?!"
[Radio: (G) Global] Guardian Templar Fefnir laughs.
[Radio: (G) Global] Boomer Kuwanger transmits, "Jesus, man!"
[Radio: (G) Global] Crash Man transmits, "That's four /cubic feet/ of ass, man!"
[Radio: (G) Global] Hard Man transmits, "Roughly."
[Radio: (G) Global] Hard Man transmits, "No, that's four square feet."
[Radio: (G) Global] Elpizo transmits, "Square feet, Crash Man."
[Radio: (G) Global] Crash Man transmits, "You're ass isn't 2D, moron."
[Radio: (G) Global] Boomer Kuwanger transmits, "Yeah, feet that are squares."
[Radio: (G) Global] Hard Man transmits, "I have no clue how deep my ass is."
[Radio: (G) Global] Boomer Kuwanger transmits, "I bet you do, weirdo."
[Radio: (G) Global] Guardian Templar Fefnir transmits, "The Commander's ass is a secret."
[Radio: (G) Global] Hard Man transmits, "That... sounded so very, very wrong."
[Radio: (G) Global] Boomer Kuwanger transmits, "Regardless, that's not what we're talking about."
[Radio: (G) Global] Crash Man transmits, "Sure you do, Hardo. How could you not know?"
[Radio: (G) Global] Boomer Kuwanger transmits, "I want to hear the volume of your cheeks."
[Radio: (G) Global] Crash Man transmits, "I'll bet we can get Spark Man to measure the depth."
[Radio: (G) Global] Hard Man transmits, "1 foot by 4 feet by... Let me grab the tape measure... *transmits a measuring tape sound* 2 feet. And I'd say it weighs around... oh, let's say, for simplicity, 500 lbs."
[Radio: (G) Global] Guardian Templar Fefnir transmits, "-- You're really ... hmmmr, robots."
[Radio: (G) Global] Boomer Kuwanger transmits, "No, no, like, ounces of buttage."
[Radio: (G) Global] Boomer Kuwanger transmits, "Or liters, if you think you need to use them."
[Radio: (G) Global] Crash Man transmits, "Holy si--did you actually just measure the inside of your ass?"
[Radio: (G) Global] Hard Man transmits, "I just said my ass weighs 500 lbs. And no, Crash, I measured the outside."
[Radio: (G) Global] Boomer Kuwanger transmits, "Volume, man! Not mass!"
[Radio: (G) Global] Boomer Kuwanger transmits, "You sound really proud of this!"
[Radio: (G) Global] Crash Man transmits, "The best part of being Crash Man is the ability to get random morons to talk about their massive asses."
[Radio: (G) Global] Hard Man starts singing Weird Al Yankovich's "Fat"
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